In this post I will share the top 5 things I have learned during my time abroad that I believe will, at least partially, apply to you regardless of the location.
Starting of with a Milano special… #1 People Love to Stare.
One of the first things you will realize upon arriving in Milano, Italy is that people loooove to stare. This might be one of the common threads among the students I have spoken to. Do not take it personal, there is not much you can do to avoid it, but if you look around you will notice everyone is being subjected to the same scrutinous gaze. It is important to remember this, specially in Milano, the city of fashion, where the pressures of fitting in based on appearance could make you more self conscious about the way you look.
On that same note, #2 Remember to Take a Moment to Observe What’s Happening Around You. Though you should always be aware of your surroundings (for obvious safety reasons) I have found it extremely helpful to remember to step back and take in my surroundings. Many times, being in a new country, with a different culture I have found myself intimidated by not knowing what to do or how to “properly” act or dress for an ocassion. And so I learned the art of observing my sorroundings. I have always enjoyed doing my fair share of people watching, but I found it particularly helpful while coming here. Looking around me made me realize that a common thread is that everyone does things in their own way. I remember the first time I went to campus with my roommates, it was for our first session of orientation. We were all nervous because we felt the need to fit in, I remember we were even questioning which side of the street people usually walk on, after swapping from left to right a couple times we realized no one seemed to care, and the only ones affected seemed to be the bikers that were forced to sow between people. The same thing applied when it came to fashion, I had come in with a preconceived notion of how I would be expected to dress, ready for the runway at any time, and though many do dress like that, very much like in actual runways there is a very large array of styles and formality levels. Though the average person does follow a certain mode of dress that tends to be a more clean, formal, and somewhat more conservative look to the usual one in the US, there is always space for your own fashion. Do not forget standing out is not necessarily a bad thing, specially when you do so for giving voice to the authenticity that makes you who you are.
One of the most important lessons I have learned has been exactly this, to discover my authentic self and learn to embrace them. Which leads to my next two points, #3 “Do not be afraid to do things by yourself” and something I recently learned in one of my classes #4 “Run your own race”. As I thought about my place here and in the world, considering where I wanted to go (in a literal sense as it often comes up when the weekend approaches) and in a greater sense, I realized that I felt a lot of pressures on how to spend my time abroad. You often hear that you OUGHT to travel everyone, every weekend, to as many places as possible, and though a part of me wishes I could do that, I also had to come to the realization that my energy levels were not the same as many as my friends’ and classmates’. Many of my friends go out most nights, travel every weekend and are ready for classes, but sadly I am not built like that. My rythm of life is often slower (though not less productive or enjoyable) than many of my peers. I had not realized just how true this was until I stepped out of our island and into a city as large and connected as Milano. I still struggle with this, finding it hard to understand why it bothered me so much when I was still doing wonderful things, making memories I am proud to carry forever with me and as I getting over my own mental blocks of thinking I needed to find people to do everything with. Do not get me wrong, it is awesome to have friends to do things with, and most things are a million times more enjoyable when accompanied. However, opting out from doing things you really want to do just because no one can or wants to join is a mindset I am working to get rid of. No one was judging me for my decisions, but myself. It was two days ago in my “Diversity at work: Working better by working together” class with Professor Brian Groves (heavily recommend this class, no matter what your field of study is) that we spoke about the importance of “Running your own race”. It is so easy to get carried away with what the other person is doing, how they are doing it, WHY they are doing it, that we forget about ourselves entirely. I realized (and it is a realization I must remind myself of frequently) that I had abandoned my own race in an attempt (or out of shame) to catch up to others, completely neglecting that we are going in different directions, carrying different weights and starting off at different places. I realized I have ran so many races that I know oh so little about my own. I am pleased to say I am in the process of defining it.
Lastly, and probably the most important lesson I can share with you… are you ready? #5 LEARN TO COOK FOR ONE PERSON!!!! I cannot express just how vital this is. I made enough fish soup for approximately a starving battalion. I am now in my 4th day of soup for lunch and dinner, and I still have half a container to go because I could no longer eat it twice a day. I do not know if I’ll survive it. PLEASE!!! Do yourself a favor and learn how to portion what you cook, you will thank me for this.
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